Whether your move to college has initiated a breakup, or you find yourself being ghosted slowly, or if you are just trying to get over someone you see every day, feelings can be so unhelpful and they don’t always have our best interests at heart. They mean we can get stuck in a huge rut where we don’t even want to get ourselves out, we’d rather have some tiny crumbs of love than nothing at all.
I so so recommend taking this Absolute Goddess Handbook course. It is everything as a step by step guide to reclaiming yourself and your life again and how to feel uber powerful for the first time in a long time! I can’t wait to see it change you but for now, here are some really helpful tricks to stop caring about someone who doesn’t care about you – or who does care but is actually somehow being the main obstacle between you right now.
1. Think of your energy as an investment
And think how much you are getting back from that investment. What are you giving out – and what are you getting back? What illusion or trickery is making you give so much of yourself, in order to get so little in return? By doing this you’re starting to consider and learn about how powerful you actually are!
2. Stop pretending
Don’t pretend to move on, or pretend to be hard to get and instead just be. Being authentic is incredibly powerful and moves us forwards. An important step to take is to validate your feelings. They are not shameful and anyone in your situation would have them too. They are a completely natural and valid response to the situation you found yourself in and they are absolutely okay to stay and sit there. Don’t rush your feelings away or do anything unauthentic as it will only lead to more suffering. You don’t have to hide them or spend your energy telling yourself lies about them, let go of trying to hold back and be honest and okay with them.
3. Feeling is part of moving on
Never deny yourself of it, it’s a crucial and ok part. Moving on doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for them anymore, or that you don’t crave affection from them. It means you have come to the realisation that you deserve more than the affection you are getting and are starting to place your energy in better places. As you are moving on you’ll still be feeling every day but it’s the life and lovely things you build on top of that feeling that counts. Don’t dismiss it or usher it away, the ‘I’m over it’ if it comes will eventually come from sitting with your feelings for that person, being at peace with them and letting them be there, understanding them and knowing it’s okay for you to feel that way. Bad and uncomfortable feelings are as okay as good feelings.
4. Know you didn’t do anything wrong
You did absolutely everything right! It’s easy to fall under the illusion that it must be your fault somehow, or you only did this or that. It’s not your job to do any of those things, just to be unapologetically you and express yourself authentically. You don’t have to think in to it any more than that. You did everything you needed to do.
5. Take time out from them
The ‘I’ll think about them later’ approach! Allotting some time for later to scrutinise your relationship means that you can take the weight off your shoulders and focus on the here and now. This is a wonderful thing to practise. A relationship breakup or romantic disappointment is such a heavy weight on your shoulders, why not put it down a little while.
6. Get curious about yourself
Relinquish your control and what you believe to be true. Let go of trying to force what ‘should be’ and instead watch and learn what makes you tick, what makes you happy, how others treat you and what makes you feel good about those interactions. It may feel awkward and painful to think about interactions with anyone else but that is absolutely okay, you’re learning a lot about yourself, piece by piece, and that you’re in the perfect place at the perfect time.
7. Get curious about others
This is actually the perfect time to start exploring your interactions with others and what they are about as you don’t need anything from them, which gives you the upper hand. Be authentic and true to yourself and your feelings and don’t rush in to a relationship to replace your previous one. It’s all about building your confidence up and letting yourself be in the moment with no expectations.
8. Get clever
This is where the Absolute Goddess Handbook will help you, it is specially created to help you win this situation and hacks to get you feeling incredible and powerful again much sooner. I’m especially thinking of the –a-t -h- -e–s tool which is actually everything! (Can you guess?)
9. Connect with others
This is a really empowering step to take, a place of support and community to share your most uncomfortable feelings with, so they weigh less heavy on your shoulders. This step helps you become be aware that it is a feeling you are grappling with, not the person themselves, although it definitely feels like it. It’s a little insight in to your own mind and what you’re really craving in this situation.
10. Treat yourself
With an extra bit of pampering! Make a treat yourself jar to throw your change in to, or put little bits aside to cheer yourself up, whether it’s a takeaway treat or going for a professional treatment you’ve wanted to have for a while. Treating yourself means a lot, definitely make it a priority on your to do list!
Sleeping beauty pillow mist 👈🏻
The perfect accessory for your bedside table and amazing way to relax and unwind, laying back on dreamy lavender scented pillows.
Good night deep sleep moon spray 👈🏻
Frankincense and geranium make this deep sleep mist magical, ultra soothing and the perfect bedtime ritual, just spray on your pillow!
Silkooze Mulberry silk eye mask 👈🏻
These are absolutely gorgeous and are so affordable too! I can’t believe how affordable they are. There are so many beauty benefits to wearing silk against your face, there are gorgeous colours and it comes with a matching drawstring pouch too! The colours go quick so don’t delay in snapping up your fave – I love the pink one with ivory straps!
Crystal infused water bottle 👈🏻
This is the perfect way to remember to drink more water and keep hydrated throughout the day! You can fill the base with any kind of crystals and the top part with fruit or anything you want to infuse your water with. The crystal infused water bottle is such a glamorous idea and a way of keeping your crystals close to you throughout the day.
Raw rose quartz piece 👈🏻
All the rose quartz! The perfect self love gift to bring forth and promote peaceful, healing, soothing, loving energies, the perfect crystal for healing heartbreak and is the gemstone of love, harmony and unconditional love, perfect to give you strength and peace when you need it.
11. Repair, nourish and mend
Nourish your sacred space and the sacred temple within, by repairing nourishing and mending your body on the outside and the inside. The best base for a glow up are things that make us feel strong and powerful, outside and in. Soothe, nourish and care for your skin, keep hydrated and drink lots of water.
Rose clay nourishing cleansing balm 👈🏻
Super nourishing and calming, as well as smelling delicious, this will calm and soothe your skin, to restore natural balance to the face and make your skin the happiest it’s ever been!
African black soap and honey mask 👈🏻
The easy way to follow those glow up skin routines of the internet! African black soap is regarded as a holy grail substance and the essential ingredient for glowy, glass skin and you can reap the benefits of it with this clever cleanser, uber gentle and sure to clear any breakouts!
Rose water facial mist 👈🏻
The perfect way to infuse moisture, this is both calming and hydrating for princessy skin. This will be amazing for you if your skin reacts to everything, it’s the most calming product for your skin, to bless it with that essential hydration. Lock in the goodness with a simple moisturizer afterwards!
Lash and brow super growth serum 👈🏻
Create a pamper routine for your lashes, this is perfect to nourish and condition your lashes and help them to grow thick, long and strong. Just apply as a dreamy ritual before you sleep, a little bit goes a long way to growing them!
This wonderful hydrating lip plumper 👈🏻
Simply apply before bed to wake up with pillowy soft and visibly larger lips, it’s amazing.
Growth promoting hair mask 👈🏻
To grow your locks stronger and longer every day, apply this amazing stimulating and nourishing mask once a week.
12. Create a diary of special sacred things
Create a plan or a diary of growth and stick in things that excite you, to feed, repair and nourish your mind, heart and soul. In this way we can use the breakup as a chance to get creative to reap and extract all the positives out of it that we can. Check out these incredible thick girly planners here, kikki k style planners but are super affordable and will last you ages, you can even clip in special planning, pretty and refill sheets!
13. Understand the ‘revenge glow up’ mindset
Instead of enjoying the process and fun and freedom of ‘glowing up’, it can feel a bit like trying to impress this person or get back at them, and look good for them alone. This can constrict us as things you personally wanted to try go out of the window because you find your focus is on capturing their attention, attracting them or tailoring yourself to looking like their ‘perfect’ love interest.
Go here to find some epic clever glow up tips you never heard before, to give you epic confidence every day!
14. Discover feminine power
Tap in to the power of divine female figures, throughout history or in your family, any powerful feminine force you prefer to embody. Tap in to their power and channel their fierce and vivacious nature and divine spirit through special symbols and tokens, create a little shrine or mini temple in your room, or fill your space with rose quartz crystals to bring self love, peace and healing energies, plants to represent your growth and angelic symbols to represent purity, innocence and faith in a greater plan. You could even carry items like rose quartz and mini symbols on your person every day, to keep them close to you!
Feminine form candle 👈🏻
These beautiful creations are works of art in themselves and look beautiful as ornaments to adorn your space!
Goddess Venus candle 👈🏻
Perfect for your little self care, self love shrine! These candles are just gorgeous, I’m not sure I could ever bring myself to light one, they look too good as divine ornaments and statuettes and bring such a chic feel to your space!
Aphrodite art prints 👈🏻
It’s perfect to keep close by to remind you of your natural power and prowess! These prints look perfect together as a gallery wall for your sacred space.
Le Musee art print 👈🏻
Such a cute and chic print that will look gorgeous in every space
Goddess art print 👈🏻
The perfect empowering piece for your space! Art is something we see every day and affects us more than we realise, so is the perfect thing to treat yourself to, to inspire confidence, self love and empowerment.
Angelic art print 👈🏻
The cutest ever print for your sacred space. You can find even more magical self love art prints here!
15. Take yourself and your feelings seriously
If it feels like a lot for you, it probably is. Being stuck in this situation can feel incredibly painful but the best thing is to let the feelings in and share them if the weight is too much to carry. Let the feeling be whatever it wants or needs to be. Instead of shutting out the waves of uncomfortable emotion, learn to feel them and tolerate them and surf them.
Also check out this ultimate college life hacks section, filled with dorm room decor ideas for 2022 and beyond, what to bring to college and university and girly graduation ideas, perfect for when it’s time to graduate high school or college!
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I love the “I’ll think about them later,” approach. That is SO smart and would be suitable in so many situations! Thank you for all of the wonderful tips. You’re the best!