Feeling insecure about my looks tips

Here are my feeling bad about looks tips, some confidence tips you might not have heard before. It’s common to find yourself hating your appearance, feeling depressed about the way you look, especially when you find yourself in a stressful place, wondering why you should be proud of your body, always wishing you knew how to look pretty while comparing yourself to people you see in real life and on instagram. This is a little sequel to my how to glow up tips post…

how to look pretty

How do I stop being insecure about my looks?

1. Slowly practise and practise – going to scary places, where you feel uncomfortable. This could be in a gallery full of people, a shop that makes you feel intimidated, or surrounded by people you feel are looking or staring at you. The whole process involves slowly liberating ourselves and going to places you would normally avoid. Sometimes we can worry about drawing attention to ourselves, we worry about people noticing us and looking at us…

how to look pretty

2. Make a plan and feel powerful – having a plan makes it easier to tackle new challenges and a few little tricks are to

. Plan out a confidence giving outfit beforehand

. Plan some topics to have on on hand to talk about if your mind goes blank

. The ability to stop hiccups when you need to (by taking a deep breath and immediately gulping down a cup of water before exhaling)

. Being able to quieten a gurgling tummy when you want to (by ingesting air and making yourself burp quietly) – these things are totally normal, natural and acceptable but these having these hacks up my sleeve made me feel so much more confident in situations and helped me to practise much more.

. Have a little space you can retreat to if it gets too much, somewhere you can feel safe.

how to look pretty

. The number one confidence hack I could give anyone – is giving yourself room to breathe. Give yourself plenty of allowance, know that you are allowed to do anything, you are allowed to feel anxious, or fail, you are allowed to do anything embarassing, you are completely allowed and it is absolutely fine and completely acceptable. Giving yourself allowance means allowing yourself to be there in all your humanity and to stop stuffing it down, to be open and transparent.

It is really true that confidence doesn’t come from ‘everything will go great’, but ‘I’ll be fine if it doesn’t’. It’s nice to have that little safety net, plan of action, a sensible coordinated response stored away and it makes you feel ahead of your game.

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How do I accept my looks?

If you are struggling to accept your looks you might have an idea about how you ‘should’ look – think about how you would like to look, is there one idea that stands out in particular? One of the most powerful things to learn is that it is just one way to look – and there are a million different looks that are just as beautiful as that one to discover, you are currently honing in on that very particular one.

We may strictly not want to deviate from our particular ‘look’ at first, but when we do we will see so many more beautiful looks and learn that our own is one of them. It’s one that has so, so, so much potential that we didn’t realise before, because we were too busy honing in on ‘that’ look that we became obsessed with.

how to look pretty

3. Reaching out the box – trying the ‘it girl’ chunky trainers we were too scared to try, seeing who we can be, what flavour superhero we want to be.

how to look pretty

4. Becoming the superhero we want to be – we can take our looks to amazing places and when you realise where you can go you will feel so, so excited! There is no point in being stagnant and still, if there’s something in particular you want to try and achieve that will make you feel powerful, do it! This could be getting to a healthy weight or eating more healthily, or starting a competitive sport, even if it seems impossible. Start making small changes, one tiny thing at a time.

how to look pretty

5. Channel powerful role models – there is Freyja, the Norse goddess of beauty, sexuality and fertility but also of sorcery, war and death. She is meant to ride a chariot pulled by cats. Find beauty in your strength, learn and read and be quick witted and kind.

how to look pretty

6. Celebrate your achievements – new achievements bring new confidence. It’s all about trying new challenges, no matter how small, and making the first move.

how to look pretty

7. Have an activity you can do makeup free – or in your totally stripped back state, where you can practise pulling your hair back and baring your natural face, somewhere you can be free to be yourself, free to bare the self you are scared of. Practising this can be incredibly liberating. The aim is to take your mind off how you look, even for a second is an achievement.

An amazing place to do this is outside, where it can be completely windy and rainy and you don’t have a choice about what you look like, you can’t cover up your appearance, you have to bear it to the elements. Outdoors activities like sports are great for this, or gardening, getting the spade out, making a lovely outdoors space, there are wildflowers to sow, there are lots of lawn seed options to try for growing grass to make a lovely sheltered place to sit and picnic.

how to look pretty

8. Challenge negative self talk – one thing to remember is to never 100% trust your thoughts. A lot of the time they aren’t really representative of what is going on. Maybe you are even a completely different person to who you think you are! We can work on challenging any negative or unhelpful thoughts that cross your mind.

Distrust thoughts that are bullying and feel like they are forcing you in to a corner, or ‘black and white’ or ‘all or nothing’ thoughts as they are not real and are unhelpful. Try to replace them with some other open ended options that give you hope and many possibilities to be excited about. For every negative thought, we can replace it with a more balanced or positive one that can make you feel good and proud of yourself. Remember not to believe all you think and to challenge thoughts that you notice are negative or forcing you in to a corner.

how to look pretty

9. Nourish your mind and body – Another way to show yourself more self-love is to nourish your mind and body. Self-care is essential, relaxing and feeding and nourishing yourself, eating nutritious meals, exercising regularly, and getting more sleep. Get in the habit of cooking for yourself and challenging your body to new workouts you find enjoyable. Taking good care of yourself helps to get in to the mindset that you’re worth it and deserve it.

how to look pretty

10. Surround yourself with good people – show yourself more self-love by choosing to spend time with people who make you feel good, even reaching out to kind strangers or people who’s company feels easy. Surround yourself with good people who have a positive outlook and are kind to you. It’s great to have people in your life who love to lift you up and encourage you to reach your goals. Love yourself by choosing not to be in harmful and toxic relationships that are detrimental to your health and well-being.

how to look pretty

One of the most important steps in the how to glow up process is gradually learning to love yourself and your features. As someone that has suffered with body dysmorphic disorder I hope these will be helpful for you! For real talk and stories about what others are feeling about their body image do check out the Pretty Perfect project

how to glow up tips

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