Sunday, 16 September 2018

Five little life changes, update

1. Oscar is now going to nursery - asdfjk! You mean to tell me I have a baby and he is in nursery now? How did this happen? I'm doing the nursery run four times a week and am struggling to get over the hill
and back haha but it's amazing to see Oscar improve in confidence each time he goes. I can't believe his speech now, he recites the alphabet no problem and always reenacts little role plays by himself when he plays. There were quite a few tears at first and I felt really guilty but he is getting a bit braver each time.

2. I started Lamotragine and upped my Sertraline dose - I had a bad time over the summer, awful anxiety decided to develop and I felt in a really numb place with mood as well. I have suffered very badly with Relationship OCD and separation anxiety has cropped up quite a bit too. The ill feeling started to creep in as well and I was desperate, I managed to arrange a private online consultation. So I have upped my dose of Sertraline for it to have more effect on my brain again and Lamotragine to attack the fatigue.

3. I am imPatiEnt for Lamotragine to work. After so much struggling with the fatigue I am so ready to break free and I want to study, I never thought I'd say that but I want to take off in the barmiest direction. I'm a bit high from the extra Sertraline, I'm restless, excited at the prospect of being normal and don't want to wait but am so fatigued and forever over exerting myself and crashing.

4. I started CBT again - Along with the medication, I enrolled myself back in to CBT with the same wonderful practitioner I saw before. I get on really well with therapy and medication together as I keep slipping in to awful anxious/depressive spirals. It helps to keep me on track with it all.

5. I'm painting my room a bit lighter - my room feels dark in winter with the heavy pink. I'm doing it in small stages, a little every day I'm not doing the nursery run, hoping to get some lovely, dainty, darling prints up there too. I am so grateful for this high and Sertraline giving me purpose again :)

I love doing these kinds of updates, it's a really nice feeling that I don't have to 'perform' all the time on my blog, that it can be what I want it to be, discuss my problems and let my thoughts out 

21 comments:

  1. I've lived with anxiety throughout my whole life and sometimes it gets to the point when I can't breathe, butI'm so scared of taking medication... I'm afraid that I'm going to get addicted... what is this Sertraline and it it effective?

    Mariya | www.brunetteondemand.com

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    1. Thank you so much for reaching out! Sertraline has been so helpful to me, for relieving me of the intense unwell - flu like - nausea that comes with M.E, so I rely on it to feel well. But it is not at all addictive, it's easy to come off and one of the most likely to be prescribed :D for my anxiety alone and not the physical/M.E symptoms, I would recommend CBT, if you can get a good therapist it can be wonderful! But Sertraline can be so helpful too for anxiety, and especially severe cases, mine is SO much better on Sertraline :D I'm so sorry you have been suffering with this, perhaps try CBT but if it is not helpful, medicine is definitely worth trying :) anxiety is absolutely torture. I am always here to talk if you need it! ♡

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  2. It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life - along with some promising and exciting changes. Wishing you all the very best <3
    the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much Shannon, that is so kind of you!! ♡

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  3. I love this kind of posts! I don't know, it gives me some kind of warm fuzzy feelings and it's kinda relaxing. I love it and wishing you all the best in your life, you pretty little thing xx

    Lenne | Blog

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    1. Haha aw thank you Lenne! That is so kind, haha I'm always like that with personal posts too :D hope you have a wonderful weekend! ♡

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  4. Enjoy your painting!
    Fatigue is just something else - it's difficult to describe how it's almost painful :(
    Cora | http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you so much Cora! Ahhh that is so true, it's absolutely horrendous feeling ill and exhausted, you have to give up half your life for it and you don't get any relief >< it absolutely sucks that so little is known about it! ♡

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  5. I hope everything works out for your Elizabeth! Sending you a hug and lots of positive vibes, if that can help. It is great that you can find the medical support you need, and remember to stay strong! With that help you'll get a little better each time, like Oscar in nursery, and eventually you'll get to start the projects you have in mind. You are strong enough! <3

    Julia x

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    1. Thank you so much Julia, that is so kind! I really hope that I will find something that works for me and ahhh that would be wonderful! A chance to be normal and embark on things again :D you have given me hope, thank you ♡

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  6. i hope the painting job is therapeutic and refreshing. your blog is gorgeous!!
    Joy at https://www.thejoyousliving.com

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    1. Thank you so much Joy, that is so kind!! ♡

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  7. It was lovely to see this little update!

    Danielle xx
    https://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

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  8. Mental health is no joke - I'm glad your taking care of yourself and taking steps to get better. Hope everything works out for you ❤

    - annesmiles 🌻

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    1. Thank you so much Anne, that is so kind! So much of our brain we don't understand yet, the slightest thing wrong can change you completely - and yet people still try to get you to think yourself out of it >< as if we are completely in control of our brain; I wonder what they must think of diseases like Alzheimers and Schizophrenia? Haha sorry for the rant, thank you so much ♡♡

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  9. Hi Elizabeth, nice to read an update. I'm sorry to hear you've had a bad time over the summer. I'm up and down myself with anxiety, OCD and depression. I hope that the medication increase and the CBT is helping you, even if only a little bit so far. :)

    Als hope Oscar is enjoying nursery!

    Zania
    x

    https://livingseasonal.blogspot.com

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  10. Hope Oscar is enjoying nursery, must be so strange!

    www.upyourvlog.com

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  11. Your space is so so beautiful. I love all of the white and soft colours. It looks elegant, romantic, and still inviting best online news in india the universal post is creating and curating stories, research to take you to the real facts truth behind every step, every statement given by so called - Pseudo Intellectuals who think India is intolerant. Join us in our journey and we promise you to clear your thoughts and you will celebrate Independence Day every day in India.
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