Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Small, yet productive things

Shabby chic vintage girl blog
Having ME... the tiniest thing like finding and putting on some leggings can leave me so overwhelmingly sicky and sleepy I need to lie down for ten minutes. I am so conscious of my capabilities and fight every day to meet
the social expectations thrown at me. I find myself endlessly trying to convince people of my passion and desire to work, how I resent having to rest to feel normal, I am forced at my body's pace but long to break free.

For me, having ME is a lot like walking in waist deep snow with everyone else sprinting past on tarmac and yelling to keep up. I feel guilt because I feel like I'm falling behind and I'm not much help but really, I'm working harder and on a more intense level than I've ever worked in my life. I push harder because I am determined to not let it hinder me, to try and be normal for a while. Here are some small things I am proud of!
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
. Tackling things in my own way... the secret is in the small things, like writing in your diary, cleaning the floor, washing and slicing a peach, peeling the first potato for tea. Every big thing is made up of lots of little things behind it, tons of little things going on behind the scenes that help to shape it. No matter how small the thing and how embarrassed you feel that it's made you so tired... it's more important than you realise. It's good to take time to think about your little things, the cogs at work in the system. It takes confidence to not get dragged down by the big things because they are so intimidating! Breaking things down is still a skill I am learning, that every little bit, every step counts and is itself part of a bigger play or force at work.
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
. Admitting that I have limited resources to work with. Saying that gives me great power. It helps me to look at the resources I do have rather than fighting for what I don't have. I suddenly have more than I realised, because I am seeing it differently. I acknowledge what I do have and can get creative working with it. Admitting rather than fighting it goes against my instincts but it brings a sense of calm and realisation. Sometimes you need to distance yourself from what you desire, to notice greatness that is there.
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
. Having confidence in my own abilities. I can't believe I am an adult now and hadn't known how to put up a picture frame. It's kind of revolutionised my home decorating style, I'm going around pinning up canvases and calendars and cute hanging ornaments haha. Accomplishing new things helps me to realise I am not as behind as I thought I was, I just have to pace myself. I can do anything I set my mind to and the heavy sacrifice of energy, a huge price to pay, makes it feel even more worthwhile. I must stop judging myself by others standards, for there is no rule for when things must be done by. I naturally advance at a slower pace. 
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
. Relishing the power of choice... we have a great deal of power, we just have to find it. I feel that to be able to choose is one of the greatest powers and it is so overlooked, we have the power in our hands to change so much. Choosing a coconut muffin or trying something different with your meals, choosing to reach out to someone... things like that can change and colour whole hours, days. From the simplest of choices, bloom brand new projects. Everything we choose has good and bad repercussions, it is unavoidable. I definitely don't believe that happiness is a choice because that simplifies it too much, sometimes you just can't feel anything.
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
Sorting through old, making room for new... aka sorting my floordrobe and the ironing pile haha. I'm not sure if there is a deep meaning behind this one, maybe I'll figure that out. Lately I managed to sort a great deal of clothes and even donate some. It's those small achievements haha, even though they feel like a marathon! 
Shabby chic vintage girl blog
These little things or truths are kind of like gems in the rough for me, things I have discovered and learnt but haven't fully mastered. Maybe we don't need to burn ourselves out, but consistency, commitment, persistence and patience is key. This can be hard to remember when I tackle a few pieces of laundry and the rest just comes down on me because of potty training, no one warned me about this stage guys haha!!

Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed about yourself, even for something you can't control? 

13 comments:

  1. Writing down to-do lists, goals, whatever always helps me. Plus, it gives me an excuse to use cute stationery. haha ♥

    mooeyandfriends.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad you can see it from a different outlook now, that post was almost like a stream of consciousness and I'm glad you're feeling more positive. When I was suffering with really bad anxiety, I would beat myself up over the fact I couldn't bring myself to go outside, not even round the corner to the shop. I got in the mindset of; everyone else can do it, why can't you and that's so damaging and a pretty tough thought pattern to remove yourself from. ✨Marbl☾☽Moon

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel like I am always living by to do lists, they help me stay on the right track!

    Danielle xx
    https://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree it's the little things. Also love your bedroom!

    Kay xx
    www.mummywho.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Everything about this post is pretty. I wish my bedroom was half as pretty.

    Jenny’s Bicycle-Indian Fashion Blog!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful!!

    https://julesonthemoon.blogspot.it

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ahh your room is so pretty! <3

    Katie | www.katielclark.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  8. Having a to-do list and monthly goals always helps me. But I often feel guilty and ashamed as if I'm not doing enough. It's hard. I swear there's this constant pressure on us all to be busy doing something every minute of the day. x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good for you Elizabeth, I think you're amazing and should give yourself more credit. Your home looks dreamy, although I'd expect nothing less!

    https://amyevans.co.uk - Amy 💘

    ReplyDelete
  10. I spy new look!
    https://cocoachats.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Inspiring post, it is importarnt to acknowlege the little things. I've often felt like a "loser" and behind other peope because I have anxiety and depression, and haven't achieved in my life as much as other people have. But I should focus on what I have achieved.

    Hope you're doing ok at the moment. :)

    Zania
    x

    https://livingseasonal.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete