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15 Apr 2016

Things no one told me, birth & first year


Early this time last year we were building Oscar's cot, trying to have it ready for his arrival, hoping everything would go as planned and trying to imagine a real baby in there. It feels like a
world away and I've been reflecting on the everything that's been part of our first year together! Here are some things I would never have imagined would be part of the whole experience.

. The very first night. I somehow imagined the birth aftermath to be a peaceful time where you were allowed to rest and recover in perfect tranquillity, while cradling your newborn whenever you fancied. The reality is very hectic and between trying to stand up and brace the pain while changing pants/pads/trousers, I found I had to work around a catheter, while remembering to wake newborn Oscar up every couple of hours for a feed - what even was breastfeeding!? - or to clean up sticky black filled nappies with cotton wool. There were kind nurses around to help but it was so chaotic, and definitely my first taste of the sleepless nights to come.

. How uncomfortable baby sleep dep can be. People often speak of it and I assumed it to be just "one of those things" until I found myself in the deep end, feeling like I was struggling to survive. Days bled by in a blur and I couldn't go out or walk in a straight line, my surroundings throbbed around me. Light began to break through the tunnel at around three months, when Oscar started sleeping for three to four hours at night: it felt like a miracle!

. That I would be given magical fairy nails. From when I had Oscar, I found birthing came with a happy perk: my nails blossomed in to strong, shiny elongated rectangles with milky white tips. They lasted about five months before I gradually managed to whittle them back down. They still feel in much better condition than they were pre pregnancy!

. How much I loved co sleeping. I was very anxious about Oscar falling asleep in our bed, yet had read about the benefits of co sleeping, so we eventually decided to get the Chicco Next 2 Me crib rather than a Moses basket. It made things so much easier to slide Oscar in and out of bed in the night and to roll over and be able to see his face. I had read many reviews but I never predicted how useful our co sleeper cot would become or how grateful I would be to have it.

. That I wouldn't bond straight away. For at least the first three months I didn't emotionally have any bond with my newborn baby boy. I talked and sang to him, I held him and performed all of my duties but all the while I was so worried because I didn't feel anything for him. As time went on I realised that the newborn stage definitely wasn't my favourite and that I needed Oscar's feedback and smiles in order to bond with him and know he appreciated me. As he began to smile, laugh more and more and became much more aware of his surroundings and of his little family, I felt a bond quickly begin to grow and fell in love with experiencing all of his firsts with him!

. How quickly clothes are suddenly too small. I had an inkling before I had Oscar that I shouldn't buy in too many newborn sized suits but little did I realise that I should already be buying in his 9-12 month sized items! He usually grows out of his suits feet first, where he will wear one for 2 weeks and suddenly it will cramp his toes. I then trim the 'feet' off in the hope that it will last another day few weeks. Oscar has so many hand knitted cardies that he has only worn once!

. That those short sleeve baby suits are actually vests. I didn't really imagine that babies wore vests and so they must don these little white uniforms come summertime, I assumed. Cue embarrassing moments shortly after labour when neither Mitch nor I knew how to dress Oscar, which layers to put on first or which popstuds go where!

Thank you so much for reading and following my Oscar story and updates!!  
You can find them all here or check out our little album in progress here. A few days ago I contracted a nasty virus and have been keeping away from my online devices as I felt too ill. My poor little lamb has unfortunately caught it from me and is severely off his foods, so I will be spending some time to look after him and watching Waybuloos. I will reply as normal! 

47 comments:

  1. thank you for sharing! My mom had my two sisters during my teenage years, and I remember oh so vividly the toll that baby sleep dep took on her.. it's something that I fear about when having my own (in a few years time). glad to know that there's always a light at the end :) Oscar is the cutest! You did well!

    kynialikethecountry.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much Kynia! Aw, a good thing to remember is that there will be an end in sight, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. It can be difficult but allow yourself anything you need to cope with it, it won't last forever! ♡

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  2. Aw this is lovely, I always wonder about what people don't tell you! I imagine it's the strangest things that occur to you.
    I'm hoping I have a baby like me (I slept through from about a week old!) because I definitely couldn't handle sleep deprivation, bless you.

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

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    1. Aw thanks Jess! Haha yes, I love reading posts like this too, everyone has different experiences! Wow, that's amazing, sooo lucky haha! :D ♡

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  3. Aww hope your little boy feels better soon. Love this post. As someone who is TTC I actually like hearing about the things no one usually talks about or preparea you for (even if they do terrify me! Lol) x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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    1. Aww thanks so much Aimee! Haha there are so many unexpected things, good and bad, it's honestly such an experience :D good luck for a BFP!! ♡

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  4. My son is now 4, and I swear it never changes. Sometimes I forget he is an actual proper mini human now who can reason with me when I tell him no. But I can completely relate to bonding with them, its hard to begin with because they just steal your energy and cry constantly, but the moment he started smiling and responding, I can still remember the moment when he stole my heart :)

    http://www.makeerinover.co.uk

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    1. Aw thanks so much Erin! I can totally relate haha, that's how it happened with me too :D that's so cute! ♡

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  5. Thanks for sharing! I have my first little one arriving pretty soon and its really helpful reading posts like this :)

    Renee | Lose The Road

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    1. Thanks so much Renee, I'm glad you liked it! Ahh so exciting, congratulations! :D I wish you lots of luck! ♡

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    1. No problem Lyosha, and thank you! ♡

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  7. This was so interesting to read, thanks for sharing it! I can't believe little oscar is a year old! He's the cutest :) I'd love to have kids one day but not until I am maybe 24 or so. I really want 4 boys and 1 girl but I suppose you can't chose haha! xx
    Mind reading my lastest? www.rosieauthorwriting.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Rosie! Aw thank you, I cannot believe it either! Haha, I was the last person that was meant to have children early, even though I wanted to since my mum had me later on :D never overplan ahead in life, just go with the flow! ♡

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  8. Lovely post :) xx

    pinksmartiesblog.blogspot.co.uk

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  9. Aww such a lovely post! It must have been so frightening suddenly having a little teeny baby to take care of, aswell as yourself lol! Xx

    ♡ itsjessiejane ♡

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    1. Awww thanks so much!! It is very bizarre, it is mindblowing when they are just lying there next to you and you really don't know how this baby got here haha :D it's such a bizarre, wonderful experience! ♡

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  10. great post! very inspiring especially for first timer moms out there! thank you for sharing :)
    xx Jamie | With Love, Jamie

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    1. Thanks so much Jamie! I'm so glad you liked it :D ♡

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  11. I guess childbirth and raising a newborn is different for all women and how they handle it, I have no idea how I am going to be or how my future baby might be but I hope for a settled one or well as settled as possible as no sleep is gonna suck.

    Meme xx

    New Post:
    A Day In The Life Of London
    www.thedayinthelifeof.co.uk

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    1. It's so cool how one story is completely different to the next, it's so interesting reading others' stories! Haha, it will go beyond your worst fears but be the best thing at the same time :D thanks so much Meme! ♡

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  12. This is such a lovely post! Although I don't have any children, because even though I'm 15, I can barely even look after myself, I found it really interesting to read!

    Jade | www.simplyjadey.blogspot.co.uk xx

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    1. Thank you so much Jade! I'm so glad you found it interesting haha, I always loved reading birth and baby stories and it's so cool that I can tell my own now :D ♡

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  13. Thank you so much for your candidness in this post. xx

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    1. I'm glad you liked it, Coco, and thank you! ♡

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  14. Aww! What a lovely post! It's making me miss those early days when everything is new and confusing and lovely and exciting and all the while you get no sleep! Hahaha! Every point is so true and now that my youngest is now 2 years old, I'm missing co-sleeping so much, I might sneak her in for a cuddle tonight ;) xxx

    Sal UmmBaby Beauty

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    1. Thank you so much Sal! Noooo that's my worst stage haha, I definitely don't miss no sleep but at least they stay still to have their nappy changed xD awww so cute! ♡

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  15. I love reading your posts with the Oscar updates! :-) You always tell the truth which I think is both brave and fabulous.
    xoxo
    http://gingersnaphattie.blogspot.fr

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    1. Aww thanks so much Ginger, that's so kind! So glad you like them :D ♡

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  16. We used the Chicco Next To Me as well - I absolutely loved having James right next to me, although the only downside I found was how hard the mattress was!
    I also had the same problems with bonding at the beginning. I always assumed it would just come naturally, but it took a while for me to really feel it!
    Loved this post.
    xx

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    1. Thanks so much Katey! I loved the design of it too, except the mattress was very firm here also! I tucked some soft fleece blankets on top of it and it made it a bit nicer :D he slept in it until about eight or nine months old! I so wish I knew it was normal, at the time I was really worried haha ♡

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  17. Awwh this post is adorable. I don't have any children of my own but one of my best friends just gave birth & I admire her so much. She always looks amazing regardless of having no sleep & is still her bouncy happy self. <3 xx

    www.hello-cat.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Aww thank you Cat! Wow, that's so lucky :D I was definitely in my pyjamas throughout all of the early stage haha, you never quite know how it will affect you! It can make you do crazy things like putting the hairbrush in the fridge xD ♡

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  18. I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well and hope you and your little one feel better soon :) x

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    1. Aw thank you so much Beauty, so kind! ♡

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  19. Hope you both feel better soon!

    Emma | http://www.fluffandfripperies.com

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    1. Thanks so much Emma, how sweet! ♡

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  20. I loved reading this! As I start thinking about the future and small people in it I try to remind myself it's not going to be all smiles and cuddles, I don't do well after a bad night's sleep so it stands to reason it's not always going to be easy, but I bet it's the most rewarding thing ever.

    fourcatsplusus.co.uk - Amy

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    1. Awww thanks so much Amy! Haha I would say that it is both smiles and cuddles and worse than you ever imagined all at the same time and you grow a lot of independence as a person :D it is so bizarre and wonderful and rewarding! ♡

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  21. Aww, he looks so sweet :)

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  22. Oh how lovely, and yes so many memories. My first few years with my baby twins were tiring but so magical :) Lovely post xx

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  23. This is so precious. I'm not a mother myself but when my first nephew was born I struggled to "feel anything" for him. Now he is the absolute love of my life and I love watching him grow (although it's also a little heartbreaking that's he growing so fast haha).

    Happy Birthday to Oscar and I hope you have a blessed motherhood.

    Angi www.twodifferentworlds.com

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